haha this might sound a little silly but u know last christmas during my birthday, i really wanted to make a short speech. well it didn't happen cos for the first time in modern history we kinda missed the midnight mark and things kinda got a little disorganized..
what i wanted to say was that one of the greatest things i thank God for is my extended family, i.e. you guys.. yup, every single one of you.. its not like i never knew my family means a lot to me or that i really am very very blessed to have every one of you in my life.. but it kinda only struck me in the last two years how i can really find love given so unconditionally and freely in this family, that it really is the people in this family that will love me for who i am, no matter what stupid foolish mistakes i may have made or may in the future make. i really wanted to take the opportunity during christmas then just to say thank you but oh wells, i do suppose it won't exactly be too late this christmas either.. (:
anyways here's something i wrote for my psychology class reflections which i thought might be nice to share: (btw during that class we were asked to write our own obituary that should include the greatest achievements in our lives. we had to write 2 in fact - one if we died that day and another if we die 50 years from that day. pretty morbid eh?)
"It was most interesting writing my own obituary today. I honestly don't think I've done anything quite so strange in my entire life. I'm glad I did though.. More than just learning theories, I learnt some things about myself today. Writing who I would have left behind was easy - my family and closest confidants. What was difficult though, was writing my lifetime accomplishments. Here's what I wrote: Loved with her heart. For the entry 50 years from now, I wrote the same, with the addition of "Lived life to the fullest. Tried as many things as she could at least once". When it was revealed that what we wrote is actually telling of our current prime concerns, the first thing that came to my mind was "Oh goodness, does that mean that I don't care much about my achievements in life? Or worse, have I actually achieved so little I cannot find anything to say when asked to?"
Well in this short nineteen years of mine, I've been through a few failure, mistakes and family crises. At the same time, there are a couple of achievements in my life I am proud to have made. But coupled with all the little thoughts and self-reflections I've been having while reading the textbook chapters on child development, I've come to realize that as much as our society clearly values, no wait, worships achievements, I was raised and nurtured to believe otherwise. It is kinda ironic I know, to realize only now what I've been "raised to believe" but I guess its only now, when I've come far enough to have done both the "good" and the "bad" that I see clearly how my family (and closest friends) love me for the person I am and not for the accomplishments the world has educated me to believe as defining of my life. In the same way, this is how I want to live my life (and how I want to be remembered) - to love with my heart the way others before me have loved me with theirs."
All yours,
Angel
